As promised to my darling Anna...

I have been tagged, so I will play along. (oh, and I don't feel like studying for an exam tomorrow...)

20 random tidbits about Katie...

1) I can touch my tongue to my nose (very handy in the winter, during drippy-snot season.)
2) I know 42 words that can be spelled using only the letters in Todd Hollandsworth's name.
3) I have a cool t-shirt collection.
4) I moved into my first house 4 years ago today.
5) I once was "escorted home" by the police after T.P.ing a boy's house (Aah, Josh Eakright!)
6) I bought my husband a $950 DVD. (Funny story...now, anyways!)
7) My favorite pair of shoes (my adidas sambas!) were given to me by my 8th grade boyfriend, and I still wear them almost every day! (Last x-mas, Tommy almost bought me a new pair, but finally just looked at me and said "you're still gonna wear the old ones, aren't you?" Yup!)
8) I carry a baby spoon in my purse, because I have a freakish inability to consume a mixed drink without stirring it constantly. (OCD? Perhaps...but I prefer to call it quirky!)
9) I have a full-ride at school, and this year, it even covered the cost of an iPod! (How that helps me to study better is none of your business... plus I can't think of a good reason. Who cares?!? Free iPod!!!)
10) My brothers call me "Dade" because I once said I wanted to become "an ice cream dade" (whatever that is...)
11) One time while we lived in Oregon, an entire 16 floor building was evacuated because your truly accidentally set off the fire alarm!
12) Because of a man named Ralph, I can sing my ABC's backwards, count to 18 in roman numerals, tell my kids that M-O-M-M-Y needs C-O-F-F-E-E, and feel free to dream aloud about a Cubbie World Series. (Ralph's World, the most creative indie rocker/children's folk music dude in the world. Parents, if you love your children at all, you will check him out.)
13) My friend Jen and I once recorded an original song ("Coche Azul." Oh, and don't ever ask to hear it, because I'd rather eat my own brain than play it for anyone.)
14) 3 of my four babies have birthdays within a two week span.(May 17, May 18, June 3), and my fourth baby's birthday is the day after mine. (Sept 7, Sept 8)
15) Though I very rarely drink soda, when I do, it disgusts my hubby. I like it warm and flat, so I open it the night before, and leave it on the counter so its "ready" the next day.
16) I have a raised birthmark on my left arm that used to pulsate when I breastfed.
17) My next-door neighbor is 102, and was sitting on her porch giving out candy and trinkets to the neighborhood kids today, chatting away and having a grand old time. She's so cool. (Her husband is 98, and when we moved in, we forgot what he said his name was, so we just decided to call him "Ray" amongst ourselves. 3 years later, we finally found out his actual name due to a misdirected piece of mail. It's Ted.)
18) I've always thought I hated tuna salad, but I tried it last week, and it ain't half bad.
19) In high school, I was the girl who wore the absolute craziest stuff (like the "plaid outfit" which consisted of about 8 different kinds of red plaid...pants, shirt, necktie, vest, socks (with my clear shoes!) belt, scrunchie...it was out there!)
20) The first purchase for our home was a garbage disposal...which is still in it's box in the closet as we speak.

Ta da! Have a good one, kids...now go get funky.

later gators,
kater the potater-hater

Simply put, it has been so long.

It has been so long since I have written. I wish I could say it is because I have been too busy having joyous day after day, but it isn't true. Heck, I even wish I could say there has been nothing to write about, no emotion worth putting in words, but that isn't true either.

It has been so long since I have felt real. It has simply been so long since I have been a whole person.

Yesterday, Kristin called me, and if it weren't for caller ID, I wouldn't have known it was her, for all I could hear were tears, an occasional sniffle, a few outright sobs. Immediately, I cried, too. The feeling that flooded into me was one that is hard to explain. It's an old feeling, from when I was just a little kid, 6 or 7 maybe. A feeling of fierce protectiveness, more than merely empathy, the feeling I would get when something made Laurie cry. To hear her cry would squeeze my heart, and make me cry too. It is not that I was upset by what bothered her, I would cry because the sound of her tears broke my big-sister heart. When Kristin cried last night, I felt that same feeling, and it's associations. I cried because I hate hearing my sister cry.

Of course, as we talked, I found plenty of other reasons...

You know how there are those stages of grief? Denial, sadness, anger, bargaining, and acceptance, I think they are, though perhaps not in that order. I have been told many times that it is okay to skip around, and repeat some stages, and get all haywire. Well I have come to realize that the step I have been hitting recently doesn't quite fit the labels. It isn't really acceptance, though it's close. It's more like "un-denial." It's like I keep being struck by the reality of it all, over and over. Laurie is really dead. My sister is gone. The reason it isn't acceptance is because "acceptance" sounds like it is probably a good thing, a step in a positive direction, and that is just simply not how this feels. It feels worse than it has since March. I feel lower, more broken, more broken-hearted now than I have since she quit living. I feel like it makes even less sense each day, as I get further and further away from the time when I still had her. It simply has been so long...

PS My mom had to dial the phone and make the first appointment for me, but it got the ball rolling...

My baby sister is 21 years old!

My beautiful, wonderful, brilliant, hilarious, charming, kind, AMAZING Kristin...

I cannot believe how you have grown. You blow me away, baby girl, by the woman you have become. I am so proud to have you as my sister, it makes me eyes water and my smile stretch.

I know I told you this last night, but I want to tell you again, because it is 100% truth, every word...

If all, all, all the 21 year old girls in the whole wide world were lined up in a huge single file line, I would start walking, and walking until I found you! Then I'd pick you up, and swing you around, tell you how very much I love, love, love you, and take you home forever.

Happy Birthday, darling Kristin!

I knew I didn't like Drew for a reason!!!

And yet, I am still a good sport. Fine. here is your stupid tag-list. (although it is a bit interesting, if not suprising to see what you are listening to, Drewpie!)

THE RULES: List five songs that you are currently loving. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog. Then tag five other friends to see what they're listening to.

1. Don't Phunk With My Heart (Black Eyed Peas)
2. How Could This Happen To Me? (Simple Plan)
3. Held (Natalie Grant)
4. Sweet Child O' Mine (GNR)
5. Sarah (Paul Alan)

And now for the fun part...(by the way, I don't know how to link, so deal!) Y'all are tagged!!!

AnnMarie (http://juaintheam.blogspot.com/)
Debbi D. (http://debdun10.blogspot.com/)
Anna P. (http://ampointyourtoes.blogspot.com/)
Kim (http://bumpyroadsontheway.blogspot.com/)
Mandy (http://pixiethawts.blogspot.com/)

Lub, and lub, and lub!!!

My Dad, in his all-time favorite shirt...now check this out... 

Todd Hollandsworth at last years Cubs convention. Coincidence? I think not! Anyone can see that he was trying to send me a message! (And no, it wasn't "go away, crazy girl!") 

Look closely...those tiny orange specks in the air, those are doritos, being spit at yours truly! This picture was taken in Ohio, when Laurie, Scott, Tommy and I went to an amusement park there. It was more fun than a bowl full of monkey guts!