A drop in the ocean...

It's been awhile, and I'm not altogether in the mood for a fantastic quilt of words, so I'm just going to throw my patchwork heart on the table, and hope the stitches hold...

I'm feeling desperately small lately, like an ant viewed from the roof of a skyscraper. I'm not saying I feel unimportant, not at all. I guess I feel more like a single bolt on a space shuttle. We've all seen Apollo 13, and know what happens if even one tiny screw is missing, so I feel like I definitely have a mission, and a purpose for being here, it is just that I feel...well, small. In the midst of terrorist attacks, and missing children found dead, and hurricanes forcing people to abandon everything they know...I feel small. Perhaps overwhelmed is a good adjective, too. Its as though I see a world chock full of things that need to be done, and communities that need aid, and people to be loved, and all I can think of is "whew, that's a lot." Not exactly a jump start on saving the world, is it?

I feel like I am so small. A mere blip on the radar of the earth. I don't mean this to sound selfish, or uncompassionate, but as I sat in prayer today, all I could think of was how small I feel. "I am so small, Lord. I'm just a girl who has so much to be thankful for, so I understand that you're busy, too busy for a small girl. There are people in the world who need you today, so it's okay."

And then I sat there for approximately 30 seconds before He answered. Yup, He responded to me in a clear way. I hit play on the CD player, and the shuffler picked a song, one called "No Ocean Deep Enough" by Paul Alan. Allow me to share the lyrics...

Have you any idea how beautiful you are…
That in a million years I could not love you more
Like the sun can only shine so bright in the auburn sky
And you will never be abandoned
I will never leave you stranded
I would die to find a way to reach you…

There is no ocean deep enough
No mountain high or steep enough to keep me away from you
There is no highway long enough,
No river wide or strong enough to keep me away from you

When are you going to believe like I believe in you?
If love is a lie then there is no truth
So I'll hang it all on the wire and follow you anywhere
You don't have to be lonely or look very hard to find me
I'll be walking on your stormy sea

I know your feeling lost sometimes
I know you're losing sleep at night
Faith is hard to find and prayers are crashing to the floor
And you wonder what you're praying for

And there it was, a "Dear Katie, Love God" message. Just as I was beginning to feel too small for God, I was reminded how BIG He is. Pretty darn cool, huh? Small as I am, the creator of the universe wants to spend an afternoon hitting garage sales with me and my mom and my kids.

Now, if you don't mind... there are some "sparrows" that I know that I need to pray for...