Finally. Amidst all the sadness, and fear, and anger, and stuff, I have something fresh that has really made me glad. I was thinking about how lots of Laurie's "most recent" writings are filled with questions/thoughts/concerns regarding God and Christianity, and her role within it all. Until this morning, I had been pretty bugged by it, wishing so hard that I could have helped, or that she would have allowed herself more time to figure it out. But then I stumbled accross the comforting part: She is finally in the one place she can find those answers. She is in the company of the only being who can truly give her those Truths. As much as I miss her, I can know that the things she wrestled with in her earthly life are answered questions now. Another thing I can be happy about, for her.
Does it make the rest go away? Nope. I'm still here dancing with fury in my head, and fighting off some pretty darn venomous rages. I'm still here on my knees begging God to put mercy in my heart. Absolutely begging. Keep praying for me, that God will continue to work in me, and pour his soothing salve on some gaping wounds right now.
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ar·gil·la·ceous: Containing, made of, or resembling clay.
3 comments:
Katie,
Thank you for voicing such a powerful truth. You're in my daily prayers. I pray you can put down the rage. Just give it to God.
mp
You are amazing, Katie-woman! So is Tommy, so are Denver, Maya and Isaiah. The really amazing part is seeing God through you. Hearing your insights. I loved thinking about the fact that Laurie has ALL her answers now.
PS I hope she is not belching the alphabet for Jesus! That would be weird.
K-
I'm glad that you were given a small gift to make you glad. Thank you for your honest thoughts. I know that your "begging" will be honored and heard by the Jesus who "begged" to his Father in his time of anguish. Praying for you Katie. You're not alone! Don't lose your smile either!
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