I went to the water today. I went alone, past the tourists, and field-trippers, and families all headed into the Planetarium. Around to the back, beyond the picnic area, down to the break-wall...to the waters edge. It was much different today than when I was there a few weeks ago. That day, when my family journeyed there to see for ourselves, was almost peaceful. The water was calm, the sun was shining, the air was crisp, but not cold.
Not today.
Today the cold was bitter. The wind, which didn't seem noticeble anywhere else, was blowing fiercely over the water, stinging painfully on my face. The water was tumultuous, waves crashing into the wall, and colliding with each other as they made their way in and out of that little harbor. I couldn't even stand on that bottom level because of the waves that kept crashing the wall, spilling up onto the ground, flooding the space where Laurie had stood.
It was much scarier today. And louder, even though I was certainly alone there, unseen by any human eyes. The sound of the water, and wind... and the things I said to her, at her, about her. Some things whispered, some things screamed. I kicked the wall, and I held my head in my hands and wept. I threw rocks, and I left a daisy.
I cried the whole way home, and I am crying again right now.
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ar·gil·la·ceous: Containing, made of, or resembling clay.
4 comments:
You are brave...you are strong and you are very real. I love that in you.
Red,
I love you so much. You know that. I wish I could be there to hug you the way I did at moment #1.
Many God Continue to give you the strenght you need to get through this and put joy and peace in your heart. Even the prophet were angry, God understands.
thank you ,,,i felt as if i was walking with you that day at the water,tears in my ..goose bumps on my arms...thank you...god is with us all
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