Dearest Anonymous,
First, I don't speak for everyone, only myself, but I want to let you know that I hear your angst, and I lament with you on many levels. The pain Laurie's death has brought to our family, our friends, and strangers alike has been monumental. However, the issue of forgiveness is a different story altogether from out human anger.
The fact is, God knew the very moment he created Laurie how she would die. He knew, yet she was still so valuable to Him that He gave her the precious gift of life, and free will. He loved her the moment He placed her into our mother's womb, and He loved her the moment she held her breath forever. The love He has for her, and always will, is positively imcomparable to any we might ever have had for her, and as much as it pains us, it is simply NONE of our business.
When she came to Him at the moment of her death, the only thing there was God and Laurie. The words they shared are something we never, ever will know, but there is one thing that I know, simply as a human mother...no sin could my child commit on this earth that would ever cause me to call him invaluable, unloved, unforgivable. And if I am a mere human, just a girl on this earth, who feels this way, how much more must the God of the universe feel for one of His children?
The thing about sin is that, as bad as Laurie's choice of suicide seems to us here on earth, the truth is that you and I have committed sins just as horrific and awful, and 100% shameful to God TODAY. We did it yesterday, and will do it again tomorrow. That is the thing about sin...every single one is equal in the eyes of God. EVERY ONE. The little white lie you told this morning, and the glaring look I gave to someone today. The lustful thought my friend had, and the candy my son took from his sister...each of these are punishable by one thing, and one thing only...eternal death. Hell.
The grace of God. But for the grace of God, we would all be going to hell for what we did today. Laurie, and you, me, my friend, my son...all of us have fallen short of the glory of God, and deserve to suffer, to die, eternally. When God sent His son to die on the cross for our sins (our mistakes, our errors, our wrongs, our lies, our theft, our cruelty...they are all equal) He NEVER said that there were limits. He knew then, He knows now, and He will always know that we are fallen, we are bound for sin. He chose to allow us that chance to come to Him, and be forgiven. He chose to offer us salvation. By His unfailing grace, He said that every sin we could ever think of would be forgivable.
Laurie loved God. She begged for His mercy in her final note. She used her life to be a good and faithful servant to Him, and just as He forgave the many other little sins she committed in her life, He forgave her for taking her own life.
All sin is the same, it is equal, but to the same point, it is also a personal issue. The day I come before God, it will be only myself and Him. The day you come before Him, it will be only you and Him. Honestly, I do not know what He will say to you, or me, or to a gay man, or a murderous woman, or a child who cussed at school. We have but one God, and one life, and ONE audience at that moment. For this time, I will choose to honor what He has placed on my heart for my life, and honor those around me (whether I agree or not) for the mere fact that the faces I see are the faces of God's children.
God's children...each one.
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ar·gil·la·ceous: Containing, made of, or resembling clay.
25 comments:
Grace-full as always, Katie. You put it beautifully. It's so easy for us to categorize sins, place them in a heirarchy and say that some are worse than others, and while God even does that (heck, there are only seven "deadly" sins, but a bazillion other ways to sin as well!) it's not like the punishment for some is worse or less for others. All sins lead to the same end--separation from God. Thank God for grace and salvation.
My beautiful Katie,
Your words are perfect as always. I think the thing people often forget is this:
If any sin were too big for God's mercy, Jesus would have died in vain.
I so relate to anonymous in their frustration, anger, nand hurt. I'm thankful God is a more gracious judge than I would be.
I love you girlie,
Mandy
I la la la lub you forty nerdy. Um, so I decided now that I'm graduated I'm going to come hang out with y'all once a week. If you want to stay and play you can, but I think you should just get out.
It's what I'm going to do, no arguements. I'll see you next week beautiful...
amen
Katie,
You do not know me, but I do know Drew Brown, and it's thru him that I know about Laurie. I just wanted to say that your latest post is quite powerful and beautifully written. PERFECT. And that I have been praying periodically for you and your family that the Lord will comfort your hearts.
Fe
Katie...Thank you for so eloquently expressing in a loving way that we are to love as God loves us....unconditionally. Judgment is His department. We are ALL sinners saved by grace and in God's eyes, sin is sin. We are all guilty of it. I'm so very thankful that the Lord has given us the privilege of being in His presence and forgiving us for our sins. As you have stated, we will all stand before Him, each alone and will account for our actions, thoughts, words, deeds etc. .... Best we focus on our own behavior and give the rest to the Lord.
You and your family are in my daily thoughts and prayers.
In His Love,
Mrs. G.
Don't run from your problems... or bury your face in God. We are all accountable for our actions, and how they affect those around us. God may forgive, but don't forget the little people still here on earth. They matter.
Dear Anonymous,
Who ever can be so blunt and hurtful and leave such words on her blog is wrong. She lost her sister for crying out loud, she isn't running from her problems. I think the person with the real issue here is Anonymous who is too ashamed to use their real name. Katie I know what it is like when someone in the family/friend can't understand or accept a certain situation and make things ugly and nasty because they are just in denial about the whole thing. A different situation in my family and certain family members didn't want to believe what was being said so instead they did exactly what anonymous is doing hiding their idenity and leaving comments like these. I had an uncle do the same thing on amazon.com under a book I published and we went as far as using a fake name, and the fake name he used was a dead family priests name. Now that is low. Some people just can't handle things and do hurtful things out of their own guilt, denial, or pain. Your stronger then that Katie and don't deserve it so my advice ignore it and just pray whomever anonymous is will open their eyes and God will shed some light in their life.
God Bless
Dear, Katie,
I don’t know you but my heart goes out to you and your families please don’t ever let people on this web site hurt you guys. Your family is one to strongest people I know. God bless you all and may a new year bring peace and Joy to your family you all truly devise it.
You are all always in our hearts and prays
The Weissman Family
Katie - What the fuck? Forget the path of righteousness. I have sat back long enough and watched you walk down the path of self-destruction. Who are you kidding - OR TRYING TO KID? The "public" face you put on in your blog is a million miles from who those close to you know you to be. Stand up. BE REAL - to yourself first and foremost. That may mean pain for some, but you owe it to yourself to honor yourself, God, and the decisions you have made. You can't lead two lives forever. It's time to stand up and be the woman God intended you to be....honest, true, REAL - whatever that may be. We all know what you've been doing is a facade anyway. Just be good to those left in your wake. They don't deserve it. THEY are innocent. WWJD??? What would Jesus do??
rock on anonymouses. you have children, right? where are they right now? are you even thinking of them? WHERE ARE YOU? do all these people who think you are a good person have the faintast clue where you are? have you thought of there faces when you try to sleep?
Your kids, who you left {who you soooooo wanted to have to begin with?} do they know where you are right now? God is coming soon...so is Santa (if you believe in that too).each knows who you are, and where you are. sweet dreams, F' it up if you like....there are many people that love you. We pray for her, but, Eveyone who thinks Katie is an angel, please...THINK AGAIN.
Anonymous & dzygliewicz
Your comments have done NOTHING to help this situation whatsoever.
Katie is hurting right now and "WWJD" is the best you can come up with? Why don't you ask yourself that cliched question? I certainly hope Jesus wouldn't leave anonymous comments on someone's blog saying the shit you said.
And dzygliewicz, I don't know what to make of that last sentence. "we pray for her" and then you go on to tell the world that she's not an angel. You've got some audacity.
I seem to remember Laurie hearing unloving comments like these. Those did a lot of good didn't they?
I'm guessing Jesus would do the opposite of what you've done.
Wow! Whatever baggage people feel the need to unload, please stop doing it on the blogs of my family members. Katie knows who she is. She is a child of God who's heart is broken. I don't see how dumping on her here is helping anyone. I like Anna P's aproach to Katie's current situation. Rather than beating her down with tired words, why not offer your support and time. What Would Jesus Do? He would cry for how hard hearted "His people" are being.
Mandy
Katie,
Small minded people spend their time passing judgement on those whose hearts seek the kingdom. They want to talk about saint hood...honey.. I am no saint. I live the American "Christian" dream... but I am no saint. We have all made our mistakes and I thnak God for loving me enough to let me make them. I learned more from my mistakes then I have the things I did right. Katie has always kept it real with the people who read this blog.
To Anonmyous I say...Grow up. Find a real problem to solve and leave this poor girl alone. She has paid for each and every fraction of a sin she ever committed and for that matter she is paying now for the sin you are committing by attempting to crucify her and disparage her good name. She has worked hard to learn from her life...who are you to pass judgement. If you cannot see already that God has chosen her to face the greatest of struggles and overcome then you do not know her or her family.
Katie...May God send a legion of angels to find you wherever you are and give you peace and healing. May the doubt that comes from the devil be barred from doing any harm to you. Katie...do not give up the fight...you are the legacy. I would rather hear the truth from your mouth...one who has lived both light and dark...then from the mouth of one who has never seen the evil one face to face. You are meant for him, The Lord Jesus Christ chose you... he will find you where you are and give you the courage and strength to overcome all things through him.
Praying for you and yours...
Annie ( Goodmiller ) Hart
Eveyone back off!
To all you small mined people please let the family enjoy this holiday.
I am sure is very hard for them the last thing they need is for you to make it any worse. This blog I feel was started for them to share there life and grief, with caring
People not rude people, I hope the New Year brings much joy and happiness.
Sincerely
Lisa
\
Kate-
I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your family. Please ignore the rude comments left by people who obviously don't know you that well. *hugs & prayers*
~Kim
My name is Anne Reed and I am the original Anonymous who wrote to Katie about dying which led to her beautiful response. When I wrote my response I had been to a funeral where another wonderful, kind and loving individual took their life and I was frustrated, angry and needed an out. Writing to Katie was the nearest thing for me. I having been reading these blogs since March and have come to enjoy learning, grieving and loving with this family.
There seems to be a few Anonymous' who have no heart. Please go away and leave Katie, her husband, her kids and her family alone. Move along down your own road to destruction.
To Katie: Thank you for reading and taking time to answer my blog. You cared enough to see right to my pain/frustration and let me know there was a light at the end of the tunnel and to look at another prospective. I am sorry if this did lead to more pain in your heart-it was not my intention. My prayers to you!
ANNE REED
What Would Jesus Do?
He would only LOVE. UNCONDITIONALLY.
There are several people that have left comments here that should think over that for a while. I personally am so angry at them that I am needing to ask for Jesus help to love unconditionally.
The thing is... Katie doesn't portray herself as a saint... Katie honestly communicates herself as she is... a sinner saved by the grace of an amazing God. And I am a fellow sinner who is thankful to be saved by God. I love the way Katie has shared her heart and her emotions and her journey on this blog. It is beautiful, authentic, insightful... etc.
I am sad for you anonymous and dzygliewicz... sad that there must be so much anger and pain in your hearts and lives that they pour out all over Katie's blog. That you cloak yourselves in anonymity and attack a wonderful woman.
Katie: You are a wonderful woman and I pray that you will hear the truth... beyond the hurtful words and discouragement that Satan would want you to hear... that only the truths would reach your ears and heart. The truth that God loves you wildly & unconditionally! The truth that God has used you to minister to countless people through your life. The truth from Psalm 46:1 that He is your refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Press on Katie!
Katie
I have never met you in person but have been reading your blogs for a while and have posted responses a few times. I just wanted to let you know that lately it has really been on my heart to pray for you. Although we don't know each other personally, I really admire the way you put yourself out there and just share so much of yourself. You've always struck me as being achingly real and genuine. You don't pretend to be a saint or an angel but you show yourself as a person with hopes and fears and someone who falls short and sins, just like we all do. But your love for God and for your family is so apparent and the way you share so honestly and openly is just beautiful and I am sure you'll find when you get to heaven that there will be people who are there because of the way you shared and expressed yourself here on your blog. Unfortunately, the Enemy will use people to try to break you down and destroy you. He knows that he can't snatch you from God's hand because once you're saved you can't be "unsaved". But he will try to break you down and discourage you because he thinks you'll be less effective for God that way. Don't let them steal your light. They are not worth that. Know that you have so many people praying for you and that you are cared for by so many people and have affected so many people, even people you've never met, like me. I am sending up prayers for you and your family and even though we don't know each other, please feel free to email me if you ever need to vent.
Love and Blessings,
Meg
Oh My! No wonder we can't seem to achieve World Peace! This IS Christmas, the Season of Love, right? I learned a great lesson in kindness and compassion from my hero, my Dad. He taught us kids that you never ever kick a man when he's down. Instead, make it your job be the first to reach down, extend your hand and help pull him up. The Bible clearly defines whose job description entails judgement. As for us mortals, our job description is simple: love one another. My prayer for this Christmas is that we can all do just that. LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
*praying for you*
Wow... I'm not sure I'd be able to say much after all that has been said here.
Like a few others on here, I don't know you... I know quite a few people who know your family, and through them, have learned what an amazing family you are a part of.
I am so sorry for the grief you've experienced not only here, but I'm sure in your everday interactions. Know that while we've never met, I am praying God's love to be poured on your head. That's right... Poured. All over your head. So you're drenched, and soaked to the core in nothing else but His crazy love, so that you too may know just how much you are loved.
Know that there are people who are praying for you and your family.
As to the people who obviously have much hurt, I pray God's grace and mercy poured out on YOUR head. Poured. All over your head, so you're drenched, and soaked to the core in nothing else but His crazy grace and mercy... So that you may be able to extend it to others, the way He has extended it to you.
Wow! I am absolutely speechless right now! No wonder depression is SO prevelant in this world! What kind of human-being could be so cruel and hurtful to a wonderful family? And I barely even know them, except for the wonderfully inspiring Barb...I just started reading your family's blogs again, and I just want to say that you put it PERFECTLY!!!! It's saddens me to realize that we live in a world with people like "anonymous's." I think you are an Amazing woman Katie!! Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones!! All my Prayers are with you all!! I am From the "Out Of The Darkness Overnight," Although I did not "Physically" walk,I felt truly "Honored to have been part of team "Laurie's Legacy!" Your entire family have truly made an impact on my life! I think you are all Amazing human-beings, and God does too!! Love in Him, Dana
you are an amazing writer
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